A Sacred Love Story, Part IV: Sex, Romance & God

Written by Anita Kelly Couch

On June 18, 2024

Sex, Romance and God. Would you ever think to put those three things together in the same sentence? “What I am about to share has the potential to radically “transform everything you [ever thought] about [these three things.]” (Dannah Gresh) There is an exquisite, mysterious connection between these words, but in order to see it, you must first uncover the meaning of an ancient Hebrew word: yada.

Many of you may immediately think of a 1997 Jerry Seinfeld sitcom episode when the phrase, “yada, yada, yada” became popular. This phrase was interjected into dialogue to gloss over boring parts of a conversation, “recounting words… too dull or predictable to be repeated,” as Mirriam-Webster adds. Today, we may just say: “blah blah blah.”

Oh, but that is not yada. I will forever be indebted to Dannah Gresh and her brilliant explanation of this word in her book, What Am I Waiting For? The One Thing No One Tells You About Sex. I had no idea a little four letter word could be so life changing!

Yada is actually a word used over 900 times in the Old Testament to mean “to know, to be known, to have a very intimate knowledge of.” It is used in many different contexts throughout the Scripture, but Dannah Gresh highlights three particular usages when linked together, explaining the beautiful relationship between sex, romance and God.

A couple dances in the woods. The trees cast large shadows, indicated the day is close to dusk. Both are wearing pastel blue tops, and the man twirls the woman under his arm with a smile.

The Three Uses of Yada

The first and most common application of yada is found in Genesis 4:

“Adam knew [yada] his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain.” (Gen.4:1)

Obviously, in this context, Yada encompasses sexual intimacy in marriage—the most intimate physical, emotional, and soulful ‘knowledge’ a husband and wife can have of each other. Believe it or not, sex was God’s idea! He purposefully designed it to play a crucial role in the context of a committed, exclusive relationship between a husband and wife. No wonder Evil has worked so tirelessly to degrade, diminish and desecrate such a sacred gift. God is not what some may call “a cosmic killjoy.” He is not holding out on us! Sex is much more significant than you know, which explains why God is so protective and has such strong boundaries surrounding its practice. Let’s go on.

A second use of yada is found in a very familiar passage:

 “”O Lord, you have searched me and know [yada] me.
You know [yada] when I sit and when I rise…. For you created my inmost being….
(Psalm 139:1-4, 13-16)

God possesses a full, complete, intimate knowledge of you.

Doesn’t this beg the question:

Why would God use the same word to describe sex in marriage to His thorough knowledge of us?

Gresh continues to explore this fascinating question by looking at a third way yada is
applied. This literally took my breath away! Listen to this.

“Be still and know [yada] that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10)

Do you see it? God says, “I have a thorough, complete knowledge of you, but:

“I want you to have as intimate a knowledge of Me as a husband and wife have of each other when they are engaged in sex together.” Can we even begin to comprehend the depth of intimacy to which God welcomes us? What was God wanting us to understand about loving Him by giving us such a ravishing picture as sexual intimacy in marriage?

Sex and Intimacy with God

Gresh says, “You are the focus of the passionate and unconditional love of God. He loves you with His entire Being.” Let that settle over you. He loves you with His entire Being and now…

1-You are invited into unrestrained intimacy with God.

“[Yada] portrays an uncovering and an embrace of the nakedness of the other. There are no secrets and nothing is held back.” That is how sex is designed to function. In the same way, Jesus wants us to love Him without restraint and reservation. He wanted this so much that He defeated every obstacle that could potentially separate us from Him—shame, guilt, condemnation, sin and even Satan Himself. He took it all upon Himself, defeating them all on the Cross, so that we could, in turn, love Him with total abandonment.

2-You are invited to a relationship with God based on total devotion.

Marriage is an exclusive relationship just like our relationship with God is to be.
He is the Jealous Lover. He says:
Love Me with all your heart, soul, mind and strength.
Be completely enamored with Me.
Let no other love thrill you like Mine.

3-You are invited to experience Christ’s love and passion for you, His Bride.

The physical relationship in marriage is a “taste of the intimacy [we] can have with a living, loving God.” It is a mere shadow of something surpassingly more beautiful and substantial. It is a portrait of God’s love and romance for us. 

In Eden, God said when speaking of the husband and wife, “The two shall become one flesh” (Gen.2:24). Likewise, Jesus prayed in John 17: 21, “May they be one; even as You, Father, are in Me and I in You, that they also may be one in Us” (Jn.17:21) He goes on to say, “I am speaking of Christ and the Church.”

Yada is the one thing no one ever told you about sex! Dannah Gresh’s What Am I Waiting For? helps us understand yada and the stunning connection Christ made between sex in marriage to intimacy with Himself.

“The ache in your heart to be known by and to truly know one man was placed in you to be an [exquisite] revelation of a much deeper love. When you are in intimate physical and emotional communion with your husband, it will be a mere picture of the passionate love of a God who has been seeking your heart since before you were born.” (John & Stasi Eldredge, Love & War: Finding Your Way to Something Beautiful in Your Marriage)


“Our Beautiful Creator, continue to take our breath away as our eyes are opened more and more to Your extravagant, limitless love! May it be so. Amen.”

Recommended Reading

Love & War: Finding Your Way to Something Beautiful in Your Marriage by John & Stasi Eldredge, Thomas Nelson Publishers

What Am I Waiting For? The One Thing No One Tells You About Sex by Dannah Gresh, The Crown Publishing Group

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